Getting Hammered

Tough Nooner today. Real Tough.
It all started to look like a small group, as at the start it was just Owen and myself. We talked about riding up to Bachelor. Then Robert Sheasby came by with a friend. Dude is a hammer, and this small leisurely ride up to Bachelor was looking like a death march with everyone groveling on his wheel.
I said "We're thinking about Bachelor."
Sheasby: "OK. I'm easy."
Uh, no Robert... I would never use easy to describe riding with you. You are too purpose driven, and I have seen you just clobber guys. It's like riding behind a motorcycle with you.
Then Eric came by. That made a nice little ride of five. We decided on the normal northerly ride, and we headed out.
I was feeling fine here, and I led things up out of Shevlin. Rober then went into Cannibal mode, and we all tried to get on his wheel. Things went well, including Tyler road. where we swept up one guy, and one of the Doug's also joined up. Again, I felt strong enough, and led a few climbs.
Once on the more northern roads, things just did not seem to agree with me. Suddenly, I was fighting to stay on Robert's wheel. I was struggling, yo-yoing back and forth on wheels. Dropping back to the back, fighting to stay on any wheel.
We had a sprint, and I didn't contest it at all. Then I had to dig to get to the group which was waiting for me. We got back into a team time trial mode, and I was again fighting to stay on a wheel.
Basically, it became clear that my stomach had other ideas. I was definately having stomach cramps, and I couldn't take on any water, as I was fully groveling on the wheels in front of me. I tried to eat, but I could barely keep it down.
Pedaling is hard enough when you have to stay on Sheasbeast's wheel, but when my stomach said no mas, what was I to do? You cannot turn the pedals when you're core, the midsection, is in total revolt.
Again, another sprint, and I was immediately OTB. Fortunately, we were at the highway, and everyone was waiting for traffic to clear. We made the leap, then turned onto Innes Market. Usually, this is an easy stretch, a time to take on water or to pee. But guys just hit it here, and we were pacelining right away.
I was in trouble right away. I was fighting, and I was digging, but still could only just manage to keep wheels in front of me. My stomach was also leaping. Then Robert came around, and I knew the pace would go up. It did, and I pulled myself out of it to recover.
As soon as I did, the group just rode away. There's a point of no return when you get the drop, about three bike lengths, that I wanted to jump across and get on a wheel, fight through this and suffer. But I couldn't make myself respond. The others, they rode away, and that was OK... I had to make it OK, because I was dying here.
I recovered, after soft pedaling for about two miles, then I tried to tempo at around 21. I knew the group was doing 25 plus, I would never pull them back. So, I took a shortcut, descending into Tumalo from a the main road. I decided to try to use the bathroom at a local coffee shop, see if that helped at all, and then try to catch the group as they came around the long way from doing Bridges.
I caught the group, and I was feeling better. We did the lower ride back in, the road that goes near Tumalo State Park. I told Robert I just didn't feel that well. He said I should take the day off. Not in the sense that I stay home and ride the couch, but in the sense that I don't pull. I was pulling and riding early in the ride, but since then I have been trying to take it off today and just follow wheels.
On the way to the climb, the pace was more than I liked, and I got dropped on what should have been an easy flat section. I faught back, and got the group right at the base of the climb, and then they just rode away from. I never saw them again. I passed a few guys, guys we scooped up on the ride, I don't know their names or the bikes they rode, but I could never catch the core group of riders.
I just suffered today, suffered like I haven't been on the bike in weeks. Did that one week off do me in that badly? No. I think it was a combination of hot weather and bad eating. Maybe I shouldn't have had the peanut butter and chocolate chip sandwich right before the ride. Maybe I should have ridden with both bottles filled with energy drink, maybe I should have forced down more GU during the early part of the ride. I don't know. I do know I died out there, and it felt terrible.
Do I feel bad that it was a bad ride, in that if this was the last ride I ever did, would I be OK with that? Well, I guess I would... because even though I was suffering badly, I was out there, and I felt very human at the end... and, really, that is what bike riding is all about for me. It's all about suffering and feeling the sensation of being very weak and having a moments of extreme exhaustion and self doubt. And, sometimes, that feeling is overcome, and sometimes it isn't and you want to come back the next day and try all over again.
I'll try to overcome tomorrow.